Belonging is something that is often applied to things. "Who do these mittens belong to." We think as of relations as something that requires choice - not skills. It may be the case that we come pre-wired with a pre-disposition to "belonging" or that early in life we have such experience in the main that teaches us belonging skills.But it is equlayy obvious that not all learn such skills or alternatively acquired other traits that keep them from "belonging".
As suggested by the fox in Saint Exupery's the Little Prince belonging or establishing ties takes time, it takes being 'tamed'
Shyness can be defined as being fearful about meeting people and suffering discomfort in their presence.(1)
Loneliness is experienced by people who feel that their relationships with others are less satisfying than they would like them to be. Loneliness is related less to the quantity of personal interactions than to their meaningfulness. (2)
Brassell, William (1994) Belonging, A Guide to Overcoming Loneliness, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications
Kleinke, Chris L. (1986) Meeting & Understanding People, New York: W.H. Frreeman and Company
Kleinke Page 2
Kleinke Page 3